The Secrets Out: 4 Ways Women Can Help Each Other Succeed

Me: "I'm sorry we can’t fix that problem from the office. I will need to send a technician to your house."
Customer: "Oh….well, no offense but can I speak to a guy? It's not that I think you can't do your job… I just think sometimes guys are better at these things."
Well, no offence taken!" I thought! 

 But actually just a little offence because when the guy came, he still couldn't fix the issue! Pardon my tirade...

 But after being asked this question repeatedly, I started to wonder where the idea came from. Working at a call center as technical support that was a re-occurring conversation I had. Perhaps it was my high voice that discouraged my female customers from having confidence in my technical abilities. The fascinating part was it usually only happened with women! 
I realized that we may have subconscious biases that prevent us from acknowledging our own fantastic abilities as women. Whether we believe it or not, there are schema ingrained in our minds that do not come on until the odd situation calls for them. Most of these concepts have been hammered down for centuries. For example, there was the Google employee who justified not having women in engineering by stating "Men are interested in things and women are interested in people".

This post is about how women can help each other succeed in our everyday encounters. One of the most important factors is to recognize and acknowledge each other in professional and casual situations.

 I did a short survey and found that the factors below were the most prominent in influencing how women perceived each other in everyday interaction.

1) Smile!

 A smile is a special thing and when I get one from my fellow lady, I light up! I imagine you do too! A consistent complaint in the mini survey was that women do not receive encouraging greetings from other women. A smile is a universal sign of friendliness while a frown is commonly understood as disapproval. When we ignore each other or scowl, we are saying "I disapprove of you."
Research shows that to induce trustworthiness and bonds in other people, the use of eye contact, smiling and simple mimicry is sufficient.  Similar studies show that people tend to be sensitive to those gestures that indicate trustworthiness because they imply an unselfish vulnerability. The study interpreted these tendencies as the basic need to understand others intentions and reciprocate. 

 Long story short, if you smile at a lady you show that you share a bond that is not only friendly but supportive in a sense. In a world where women are constantly scrutinized, there is such a need to show support for each other! Smiling will increase female morale all over the world! JAnd don't worry if your fellow woman does not smile back at first. It may take some getting used to!

2) Be Confident In Yourself!
Most women are under constant pressure to prove themselves. One study showed that when women were subjected to higher standards, they under performed. There is no reason for this except that stereotype threats prevent us from reaching our full potentials. Stereotype threats are prejudices that can often affect our performance while working under pressure regardless of whether they are positive or negative. Don't let preconceived notions stop you from being the best you can be! If you've been hired to do a job, chances are you have a little bit of an idea of what to do. Be confident in this! And if you are unsure, don't panic! Just learn and keep adding to your information so you can complete the task at hand.

Most errors either stem from a lack of accurate information or misinterpretation of correct information! Gathering more material and evidence will allow you to make smaller mistakes in the long run. Be confident in what you know and it will help women everywhere see that we are more than the world can contain!

3) Avoid Catty Competition!

Have you ever seen two lions competing for food in the wild? It's hostile, it's rude and it's violent. Women compete using other techniques but it can be just as ferocious. A great way to help each other succeed is to compete less for the superficial things and fight for the good of women around us. There is no way we can fight together if we are always at odds. In the past few months' women have come together in a way that we've never seen before with the "Me too" campaign and it's phenomenal! To keep this going, I request that we compete for awareness and innovation more than anything else. Focusing on research, science, problem-solving, kindness and any other wonderful conception is the only way forward! That way we can help each other move ahead instead of holding each other back.

4) Be Confident in Other Women's Abilities

Having confidence in yourself is essential but placing confidence in others is a great way to encourage your peers. We must have confidence in our fellow women to do what they say they can. When I would get those calls at the call center, it would be like the customer was saying "I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE CAPABLE!" We will never get to a place of true equality if our own internal barriers prevent us from having confidence in our peers. And if your fellow lady makes a mistake, remember that it happens to the best of us! Men and women alike.

We are always stronger together than we are divided and this goes for men, women and even wild animals. The true measure of equality can only be understood when women are their own advocates. There are still common misconceptions about the abilities of women and much of these ideas stem from cultural backgrounds that have been re-enforced for decades.